smirkingcat: (Default)
I'm must tell you how grateful I am for your visit this last 4 nights. It was such a pleasure to finally meet you, and get to know you. But I find myself not quite as comfortable with you, as without you, so if it pleases you, please never come back again! I think I learned my lessons quite well, and I find myself so much better without you. I will not be angry at one night- if you let me sleep it of the day after, but if you ever plan to visit me this long again, I will take measures in my hand. sincerely, me.


so yes, I had a visit from insomnia. never happened to me before, and I hope it will not happen again. firstly because I must have been a mess to be around- if the emails I got are anything to go by. 2nd because even if I was up many nights, and try to work most of that work was for nothing. I can barely read what I have written and not really recall what I read - glad that the typing was most of the time ok, but there are some words that make no sense at all- so I have to redo some (most/all) of the work I did the last four days. so not fun! I also must write immense amounts of "I'm sorry"- mails to all the folks I worried and pissed off at the same time and for all the mistakes I made. that will also for sure take a while.
But this morning, after I was put out yesterday with meds I must say I feel so much better!
what I learned for what you need sleep:

  • an even heart rate - I did not notice till this morning, but my heart was really hurting, especially yesterday, now that the pain is gone, I notice how much it hurt

  • thinking clearly- because the last days there was a fog clouding my mind! and the bad thing again is that I was not aware of it. for me as an controlfreak that is quite frightening, but its over now and me is back

  • pain in general- most of my muscles hurt, again now that I am more comfortable I feel only the lack of the pain, even if some of them are not painfree now, they are going to get there I am sure

  • memories- I'm finding myself with quite a bit of time, I am not so sure how I spend it- don't know what to think of that to tell the truth


so the plan for today is to nap everytime I can and feel slightly tired, because my brain so earned the sleep, write the mails I need to write and redo the work of the last four days, maybe I find the solutions the the strange words I created, but I think it will be easier to just redo all and start at the beginning since all my handwriting is illegible- in the purest sense of the word, because I can't even decipher the letters alone, and well yes redo it will be!
as a student I spent quite some nights without sleep and still went on, but that was only ever one odd night before a very hard exam or deadline never more, and thank whoever you believe in for that, because now that I know what it feels like to be literally unable to sleep I wish nobody else to make the same experience - it feels unpleasant, hurtful, and frightening to say at least! I'm so done with no sleep, really, done, never again if I have a say in it.
go sleep! and I hope I will never forget this episode and never forget how much I really and truly love and admire my bed!
smirkingcat: (Default)
so, due to me having to watch what I eat I started to be very interested in the food - topic and man was I surprised about what I was able to find.

first I must say I life in an awesome country, where vegetables and fruits are not only grown with high standard and lots of control against bad insecticides (yeah but too have the bee disappearing problem so yes some insecticides and fertilizers are used obviously) and also we do import vegetables and fruits growin in the big food plants in italy and spain- which all leads to the fact that here in austria one can afford to buy and eat vegetables and fruit, which makes a difference for the people living here at large, and me in particularly since my brain needs fresh food

secondly I found out that in america- the big us, the land where dreams come true, most people can't afford to buy fresh food as shown in the 2012 movie Food, INC by robert keller talking about how food for the us is made and put to the marked- here is a vid of an interview he did about the movie

so after I watched that I tried to find other studies about food and if there are other and I found this awesome vids on youtube I would like to share with you:

1. this a documentary about how food influences health
this is a series, it has different parts but you should go and check it out, because some of the things you learn are actually awesome!!!

2. The Food that make Billions it is a movie about how morning cereals changed the morning habits of people in the uk and world wide, its a slow documentary but a good one, because:
its interesting to watch because you see how one side is proud of what is happening and the other is worried, and thinking about the future and just for them but for all of us,
this movie made me think about my own habits a lot
and it also makes it a little bit more understanding how food on the free market works, and tells you thing you most probably never heard before
ps: i was irritated because the first to songs in the choco wheels part- the first is from the XX and the second from MGMT it both times they hit my fav songs of the bands - thanks for that mind-link I did not need!

3.The Secrets of Sugar
to add up variety the last one I present you here with another documentary from canada, and its about to tell you about sugar and where you find it and what it does
I must confess this made me quite happy to know that I switched my eating habits and even bake my own bread and so I am in control of the sugar intake I have

so that was a part of what I found about how wrong food has a very negative impact on our bodies, if you are interesting check out youtube and go from there, there is a lot to know about food - names to know if you are interested in reading you should start with the name and the stuff from Michael Pollan he is just awesome- I promise!

but I also found out about other studies about food that were done or are being done, I want to talk about its about the research beeing done by Bernard Gesch he reported about how healthy food lightens our mood and makes us less aggressive, re reports from studies done in prisons how healthy food made for them to a somewhat better life.
and I think thats it what is important


so what did I learn after throwing myself into a little (very small and tiny) food research:

  1. our food, what we eat is a war going on between small farmers and big concerns, between healthy for the environment and us and profit profit porofit

  2. even if you have the feeling that you have no choice, there is a choice and you choose to make it when you buy preprepared food or when you buy fresh ingredients

  3. food works in our body in all of our body, i myself know this by experience, and so we have to be aware of what we eat and especially of how much we eat of that what we are eating

  4. the how much is the most important part ever! its ok to eat cake, its ok to like chocolate, but the quantities in which we eat those things is what really matters when it comes down to our health

  5. food is about feeling good, feeling healthy and when you ask people that you know and who eat preprepared food regularly most of them don't say: "yes, my food makes me feel good and healthy" they are more answering int he lines of: "no, it does not make me really feel good, but its tasty enough and fast and I don't have to do to much, so I save time", but I ask myself in these days, is it really good for us to save time at our food intake time, or could we not save time by being less on the internet,on social sites, game sites ect?


at the end everyone must decide for them self or wait till your docs make the decisions for them
btw if you think cooking is very time consuming and undoable in this time of age here is a nice site that helped me when I did not know what to cook: SortedFood they are really good and everything is made fresh and easy done at home

so hopefully you can take something from this entry away too, i did that just for fun, and with very limited time, but i think what we eat is a topic we all should get involved rather today than tomorrow

April 2025

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