life rant- because as it turns out I am a judgmental BITCH!

so yes as many of you know by now, in this year i have been fucked over for really really good! and i am so sick of it!

( so to start at the beginning and get the rest down and in order )

( things i will judge you badly for )

so yes i am aware it isnt a short list... but really most of it is common sense and manners - stuff one simply doesn't do
there is also a list about things i wont judge you about:

( things you can do and i will just listen and take it in and try to remember )

i guess you are by now knowing where this is going too but i still have to get the rest of my chest anyway

today as i was going my roommate told me she likes ppl and her cat the best when they are pissed off and angry, because then its even more fun to pick on them - and then i said that that is a little sadistic- i didn't mean to judge the sadistic part just was pointing it out- because i know when i am angry and pissed off i am already very vexed and stressed out, and i hate it when someone goes and mocks on my feelings even more and picks even more on me; and then she said: there you go, being all judgemental again I knew you would say something like that again!
and somehow this was steaming in me during my work time
and today work was not a good day- i was somehow dizzy and a little beside myself and it was really hectic and a little lost and i have to get up the ladder and down again, with dizziness this is no fun
and in the evening i went home in the same underground line as two (male) co-workers - i think the male matters here, and because the conversation was very stiff and off, and i think it was my mistake...because i was the female...
but what really was worse was that they asked me what i was studying and i told them - and one of them was saying that that was plain stupid to do and what i was thinking - the other one tried to soften the blow and say it was cool that i stuck to my childhood dream... the situation itself did not really matter to me that much because both of the co-workers are always weird to me, so i just take it
but it got me thinking and thinking
and really the more i thought about it the anger i got, because i have been called judgmental a lot these year, and i am - since i am only human and we humans judge to decide what to do and how to proceed

( is a list about what all in my life has been judged by family, friends co-workers and ppl i just met- not talking about my looks )

so, please come again and tell me how much of a judgmental person i am again?!
all it really did was hurting me and making me angry, for i have to be judged all the time, but when i judge some things me is the bad one? sounds fishy to me


but on a happier note - because i try not to let you my dear fl off with all my bad emotions

( i call dips )

so know that i have ended it on a happy note i 've got to go back to writing, because writing!
and i want to apologize for the huge rant but i really needed it to blow of steam to have it off my chest and to let it go...
have a nice evening

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i dont even want to know about the mistakes this time - i was writing so much in anger, i think the keybord screamed out in pain sometimes... so just let them be, if you find them you are very welcome to keep them)