[Fic:] Past me, Future you 5
Dec. 31st, 2016 09:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smirkingcatTitle: Past me, Future you 5
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
smirkingcat
Word Count: 726
Rating: PG
Warning: unbetaed, angst
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: Find Part 1 of the To meet you again series here, and the first part of Past me, Future you here
Past me, Future you 5
Staring at the back entrance of Harry's shop, I try to think of the best way to enter. It is one thing to have my mother tell me I shall talk with Harry, it is quite another to go and do it. Honestly, I'm tired of trying to manoeuvre a minefield.
Let's keep it simple, Draco.
After a short knock, I open the door to Harry's workroom and enter.
"Draco, what are you doing here?" Harry gets up from his small table, clearly not woodworking.
"My mother sends me. She apparently is not amused about the fact, that we need her to talk to each other," I answer honestly, leaning against the door.
"So, she doesn't want me to come over for tea today?" Harry asks, small smile on his lips, looking at something in his hand.
"Do you want me to go away?"
I fear the answer to that question, but that is what truly is bothering me. What if all his feelings have changed, and he just wants me gone? I would not know what to do, I still feel like I did in the past, but then for me nothing has changed, except that I now have some embarrassing memories, which aren't my own but still are my own. But maybe for Harry everything has changed.
"NO! No of course not, now that I finally got you back... " Harry disagrees vehemently, making me relax my shoulder. But then of course he has to go on: "it's just... I don't know how to act, I don't know what to do and most of all I don't know what I should do to help you know. I want it all to just be back like it used to be, but it never will be that way again... and I'm afraid we can't deal with that."
"What does that mean?"
My mother can be proud of me, because I would like to scream and shout at him and say that he is being a moron and that he should stop doing something stupid! But I don't I try to listen, try to understand.
"There is so much want in me, longing I have for you, but I- I tried to ignore it for so long, to make it not real, because you weren't yourself, an now you are, and I'm just- I'm not that quick. I feel like I can't keep up. Draco I went as far as I could, and then I just kept holding on, to what I don't remember anymore, and suddenly everyone tells me to let you go, and move on, and now you are back and acting pissed off all the time- of course you are pissed off, everyone would be, but I simply can't deal with that. I don't know how to deal with it."
It's the way Harry speaks that breaks my heart: every word is forced, every feeling of defeat is visibly in his face, in his body and the tone of his voice. The unshed tears are just there to make sure my heart stays broken.
While for me time has stopped for him everything changed.
I can see what my mother meant when she said that he lost hope.
"You knew this was how it's going to be," I whisper in sudden realisation.
"Knew it, no. If i truly knew it I would have been prepared, but I feared it. I feared we would no longer fit each other, no longer recognise each other," Harry answers.
We both sigh at the same time, unsure on what to say next.
Suddenly I start to laugh.
"Are you losing your mind?" Harry asks aghast.
"No, I'm losing my love, that is worse. Maybe it would have been better if I died then, and we both would have had, what we did. I can't lose you, I can't let you go. It took us so long to have a nice comfortable life together, to be happy. I can't simply walk away from that. But you already left all that behind, left me behind, and I might never catch up to you again. In the end the time I'm missing is the time that will always separate us."
I'm not sure if I sound desperate or lunatic, but I know I'm hopeless.
And I'm not alone in that feeling.
Part 6
Author:
smirkingcatWord Count: 726
Rating: PG
Warning: unbetaed, angst
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: Find Part 1 of the To meet you again series here, and the first part of Past me, Future you here
Past me, Future you 5
Staring at the back entrance of Harry's shop, I try to think of the best way to enter. It is one thing to have my mother tell me I shall talk with Harry, it is quite another to go and do it. Honestly, I'm tired of trying to manoeuvre a minefield.
Let's keep it simple, Draco.
After a short knock, I open the door to Harry's workroom and enter.
"Draco, what are you doing here?" Harry gets up from his small table, clearly not woodworking.
"My mother sends me. She apparently is not amused about the fact, that we need her to talk to each other," I answer honestly, leaning against the door.
"So, she doesn't want me to come over for tea today?" Harry asks, small smile on his lips, looking at something in his hand.
"Do you want me to go away?"
I fear the answer to that question, but that is what truly is bothering me. What if all his feelings have changed, and he just wants me gone? I would not know what to do, I still feel like I did in the past, but then for me nothing has changed, except that I now have some embarrassing memories, which aren't my own but still are my own. But maybe for Harry everything has changed.
"NO! No of course not, now that I finally got you back... " Harry disagrees vehemently, making me relax my shoulder. But then of course he has to go on: "it's just... I don't know how to act, I don't know what to do and most of all I don't know what I should do to help you know. I want it all to just be back like it used to be, but it never will be that way again... and I'm afraid we can't deal with that."
"What does that mean?"
My mother can be proud of me, because I would like to scream and shout at him and say that he is being a moron and that he should stop doing something stupid! But I don't I try to listen, try to understand.
"There is so much want in me, longing I have for you, but I- I tried to ignore it for so long, to make it not real, because you weren't yourself, an now you are, and I'm just- I'm not that quick. I feel like I can't keep up. Draco I went as far as I could, and then I just kept holding on, to what I don't remember anymore, and suddenly everyone tells me to let you go, and move on, and now you are back and acting pissed off all the time- of course you are pissed off, everyone would be, but I simply can't deal with that. I don't know how to deal with it."
It's the way Harry speaks that breaks my heart: every word is forced, every feeling of defeat is visibly in his face, in his body and the tone of his voice. The unshed tears are just there to make sure my heart stays broken.
While for me time has stopped for him everything changed.
I can see what my mother meant when she said that he lost hope.
"You knew this was how it's going to be," I whisper in sudden realisation.
"Knew it, no. If i truly knew it I would have been prepared, but I feared it. I feared we would no longer fit each other, no longer recognise each other," Harry answers.
We both sigh at the same time, unsure on what to say next.
Suddenly I start to laugh.
"Are you losing your mind?" Harry asks aghast.
"No, I'm losing my love, that is worse. Maybe it would have been better if I died then, and we both would have had, what we did. I can't lose you, I can't let you go. It took us so long to have a nice comfortable life together, to be happy. I can't simply walk away from that. But you already left all that behind, left me behind, and I might never catch up to you again. In the end the time I'm missing is the time that will always separate us."
I'm not sure if I sound desperate or lunatic, but I know I'm hopeless.
And I'm not alone in that feeling.
Part 6
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2016-12-31 08:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2016-12-31 09:45 pm (UTC)lets find out then how and if the end worked for you...
(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-01 11:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-01-02 08:46 am (UTC)the end is close- you nearly made it
congrats to you!